Irresistible
by StarClan's Nightmare
Summary: But he's irresistible/Up close and personal/Now inescapable/I can hardly breathe ::CRACK pairing oneshots::
1. iRrEsIsTiBlE

**Ah, I'm bored again. So I decided to start a collection of crack pairing oneshots. A common idea? Yes, but I wanted to try it myself. And I will be accepting suggestions, so long as they are not slash or incest. **

**Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, I did not make up this particular pairing, and the song 'Irresistible' is by Jessica Simpson.**

I

_You know  
__I don't know what it is  
__But everything about you  
__is so **i.r.r.e.s.i.s.t.i.b.l.e**_

The sky is dark, but not dark enough to erase the shape of the fiery ginger tom beside me. The air is cool; my pads tingled as they touched the rocks below. The river is calm, it rushed by with barely a sound. The stars are vivid, glowing with an irrepressible light. It is a perfect night, one that any she-cat would hope for—a warm and soft night, enveloping you in its arms, caressing you gently, with a tom that adored you sitting by her side.

It doesn't help me at all.

I can't look up at the sky and delight in the stars; I can't breathe in the fresh air; I can't lap up droplets of water to soothe my aching throat. It takes too much effort to focus on something else; it takes too much needless energy. I can't bear to move myself away from thoughts of _him_. The thought of his lithe, sturdy body winding around mine, his slow breathing in my ear, and his eyes. Eyes the icy cold of twilight stars, eyes that tear my gaze from everything else, eyes that swallow me. No, not swallow; they devour. What terrifying, menacing, _dangerous_ eyes...yet so alluring.

I am going to meet him tonight. The reminder of even that made my heart race. It will be our first meeting for a moon. So long. Too long. I hate the waiting. Every moment away from him is pure torture, like claws raking slowly across my stomach. I never sleep peacefully unless I know he is near. But after I return from seeing him, I have nightmares.

It is a no-win situation. And still I can't stop. Why? I look to the sky for answers, but instead my eyes travelover the handsome ThunderClan leader a few steps away. My throat dries. I don't deserve his admiration. I don't deserve to stand in his presence.

"I love you, Sandstorm," he suddenly murmurs, his voice cracking with strong, true emotion. His muzzle touches my side; instead of a warm, fuzzy feeling coming over me, my mind screams for him to get away.

I face him, trying to show the same adoration in my eyes. "I love you, too." What a lie. My whole life is a lie. Lies spill out so easily for me. "And I know that you'll bring us through tomorrow, whatever happens." At least _that_ was true. He may not own my heart, but he does possess my respect.

"We need to go and rest," he mews, pressing himself against me. A chill sweeps over me; I'm sure it isn't just the night air. Soon I will press myself against a different tom, feel my soul swell, purr strongly and loudly to let out all the emotion building inside me...

Once we arrive at camp, Whitestorm stops us in order to talk to Firestar. I can't waste my time listening; he is the only thing that matters right now. It is so horrible, how I can only care about him, when countless lives might be slaughtered tomorrow by the combined forces of RiverClan and ShadowClan. He would be safe, though. He was unstoppable. When faced with his eyes, cats turned and fled immediately. I want to do the same. I might, tonight. It sounds so easy to do; just stop. Stop sneaking out. Stop lying to the Clan, and to Firestar. Stop dreaming about him every day.

Yeah, right.

Whitestorm leaves. Firestar is distraught, I see it in his eyes. I hate seeing him distraught. It gives me no real pain, but I need to be free of guilt tonight. My muzzle touches his. Keep on living the lie. "I'd better get some sleep."

"No, wait," he cries. "I don't want to be alone tonight. Come and share my den with me."

My muscles tense. Is it really going this far with us? I didn't want to bear his kits. I couldn't live with myself if I did. Impossible: loving kits that were Firestar's, not _his_. No. No. Yes. You can't refuse your leader. "All right, if you want me to."

He has a rabbit in his den. I eat. He eats. I feign drowsiness. He smooths out a place for me. I lie down, opening my eyes only a tiny slit. He watches the moon rise. I grow anxious and angry. _Sleep, you mousebrain. You know you want to._ He yawns, finally settling into his nest. Within moments his breathing becomes slow and deep.

I am free.

* * *

I come up to the entrance of his 'camp', careful to avoid the occasional Twoleg monster that roars past. It seems colder here than in the forest, and a lot damper. Nevertheless, my heart is about to burst, knowing that in a matter of minutes I will feel his dark fur brushing against mine and let myself be overwhelmed by his eyes.

Two battle-scarred, collared cats sit guard, but they are far from kittypet material. The teeth embedded on their collars glint. One sneers disdainfully, his muscles rippling under his black pelt in anticipation. "A pretty, dainty forest cat! Let's chase her out, Casper."

Casper is smarter, but no more respectful. "Oh, don't you recognize her, Lev? The stupid she-cat Winter and Cora caught in the forest moons ago. Haven't you seen her around? Too scared to stay in BloodClan, I suppose."

They laugh harshly, each keeping an eye fixed on me. I draw myself up. Nothing will keep me from him. "I'm here to see-"

"Him? Yeah, yeah, we all know you're his little plaything," Lev snarls, but he and Casper part to let me through. Everyone stares as I walk by, some bare their teeth, but I don't care. I see him in the distance, conversing with his deputy. I feel hot under my fur; I take a sharp intake of breath. He turns and looks in my direction. He smiles, revealing shiny white fangs. He mutters something to his deputy, who retreats.

I pad toward him, feeling more apprehension and thrill with every step. We reach each other, but say nothing. Every eye is upon us.

Aching to touch him, I lean my muzzle forward. He abruptly jerks his head back, and points his tail towards a secluded area behind a few crowfood-carriers. I follow him there.

Once we are bathed in shadows, he twines his tail with mine very tightly and envelops me in his midnight-black fur. It smells of all I cannot bear to think about: darkness, lies, and danger. _Evil_, my head screeches, _this is wrong, ghastly, evil!_ Except I can't listen. I have to continue. It's too controlling, too overpowering. It's everything crashing down on me; my thousand lies crushing me until I can't speak or breath. It's farther than I've been, farther into the sinister, bottomless pit that is my existence.

And in all of the gloom, a single voice is all I hear. "You are mine," Scourge whispers in my ear. "We belong together. Stay with me, now and forever."

Fear overcomes me. "I can't."

"You can."

"Please." I pry myself loose from his clutches, breathing heavily. My head pounds. Is this what I desired? "I feel ill."

Amber eyes glow before me. "You do not want me."

"I can't..."

"Weakling. You are mine."

I can't think clearly. My eyes swim with tears that were pounded out of me. "You can't own me. No one can." A ginger tom crosses my mind, murmuring 'I love you'. Revelation breaks through. "Except him. He has my heart."

Scourge bares his teeth, hissing. "Who?"

I no longer see any allurement in this disturbing creature. "Leave me alone," I reply sharply, bounding away from him and the forsaken camp. Scourge is too stunned to give an order to kill me, but even if he does, I am too fast for them. I can't wait to get back home.

Before I am out of earshot, I hear Scourge growl furiously, "Bone, tell Tigerstar I agree. We join him tomorrow in the forest."

* * *

I hear a rustle beside me. Firestar is awake. He thinks I'm still sleeping, I suppose, because he is careful while leaving the den. Through slitted eyes, I watch him give me a long loving look before heading into the sunshine.

I close my eyes and sigh, content. Before I drift off to sleep again, I whisper, feeling that warm, fuzzy feeling soothe me:

"_I love you, Firestar."_

**So that's it. Kind of a FirexSand, ScourgexSand one, so not truly crack. Oh well. Hope you liked it. **

**And, as I said before, I will be accepting suggestions, so long as they are not slash or incest. Just so you know, so far I have several pairings planned, so if I reject one of your offers, it may be because I'm already planning on doing it. Or maybe because I just don't like 'em. :P**

**Eview-ray lease-pay! **


	2. dEsIrE

II.

_Don't you try and tell me  
__That he's not my type  
__To hide what I feel inside  
__When he makes me weak with **dESiRE**_

I dream.

It's a living horror, when I dream.

"_We can't do this," she whispers, unwinding her tail from my taut grip. Her voice is a low rasp, each word forced out chokingly. I see that she wants nothing more than to be silent; to continue rubbing her cheek against mine; to let me shield her lithe body from the icy air nipping at her bones. I see this, I know this, because I want to do the same. _

"_And why not?" _

Then again, it's a living horror when I'm awake as well. But not for the reason you might think. No. I'm not like those lovesick fools who tremble every moment they are away from their dearest. That longing is for weaklings.

I'm not afraid of meeting her, either. The largest monster does not strikes fear in me, much less a dainty, delicate she-cat. I enjoy hearing her warm, gentle purr. I enjoy feeling her sweet breath on my neck. No, I very much like our brief, moonlit trysts.

"_Perhaps you are afraid of what will happen?" I continue coldly, but not so coldly. It's a curse. I can never be the domineering, determined warrior around her. I crumble. I collapse. "Your fear of your Clan's reaction is greater than your love for me?"_

"_No, no," she cries, leaning forward--involuntarily, I suppose."I love you. I love you with all my heart. I would do anything for you—even lay down my life."_

_I can't suppress a quiet purr to rumble within my chest, and even a rapid lick between her tiny ears. Amber eyes soften; there is no rejection to my tenderness. "I'm glad to hear it."_

I can't say exactly what bothers me so much. During the day, I am reasonably composed. I think of other matters; hunting, patrolling, defending my Clan. If a Gathering comes around, I avoid her as much as I can. If I am forced to speak to her, I am formal. Distant. It would be impossible for anyone to suspect the truth.

But at night, I am vulnerable. I cannot control my dreams. Our meetings resurface in my mind. Some pleasant. Some not.

_She jerks back suddenly, shivering. "I would, but I can't." My eyes narrow. "We have to stop. It's wrong...you and me." _

"_Because of the warrior code?" I demand, itching to touch her again. "The code has been broken many times, for honorable purposes. Wouldn't you say this is an honorable purpose? We love one another. It is right."_

_Unease flickers across her face. I press my advantage. "They don't understand us. Believe me, it is for the best. Everything will sort itself out in time, but for now, we must be patient. And secretive. You like being secretive, don't you?" I ask smoothly, twining my tail with hers once more._

I like to think that she is in my grasp, my power. And when we meet face to face, I know she is. It's so easy to persuade her to do anything, though my composure has nearly disappeared. We are one, and yet I am dominant. I have to be.

Dreams, however, are another matter. As I've explained, I feel helpless. Even though dreams are merely a reprise of what has happened before, I feel she holds something over me...something I can't take from her.

This is what disturbs me.

_A different night, now. A warmer night. Greenleaf, perhaps, and near dawn. My surroundings seem blurred, as I am only thinking of one thing; intruders. The shade of green on the trees do not matter in the least; neither does the light streaming from the stars like rain. Who could care for these things, when a much more important matter is on hand?_

_My ears prick. I hear pawsteps; I smell an enemy she-cat. She is trying to be quiet, but even the cleverest prey cannot evade being heard by me. My heart races with anticipation for an attack. "Come out, come out, wherever you are," I meow softly to the darkness, preparing to spring. _

Our first private encounter is one of the rare memories that always pleases me. At first, she struck me as stupid, like the rest of her Clan. A pathetic scrap of fur, with no ability whatsoever. Later, I realize she has a temper. And pride. Oh, what pride. In that we are much alike.

Still, she has many qualities that I can never find in myself. Patience, pity, compassion. The last one in particular I find laughable. How can you be a compassionate in these times? With your Clanmates dying, one by one, and endless hostility with other Clans? Sometimes I marvel at her ability.

_She emerges from the bushes, shaking. I am momentarily paralyzed; she is the last cat I would expect to be sneaking around on enemy territory. "Please don't attack," she begs, flattening her ears and crouching low to the ground. "I need to speak with you." _

_She is amusing; I decide to play along. "Me?" I chuckle bitterly. "What would a pretty little she-cat like you want with me?" _

_Her tail is swishing back and forth faster than I can blink. She swallows nervously, sheathing and unsheathing her claws. "Do you dream?"_

Once in a while, I wonder what would have happened if I'd just chased her off the territory. No problems, no worries. My life would have gone on as usual. Patrolling, hunting, eating, sharing tongues, sleeping. The same routine all the time. Day in, day out.

No dreams. No suffering.

Then again, no her.

"_I thought that was a medicine cat's job," I reply pointedly, letting a grin flash across my face. "This is ridiculous. You've crossed a border, risking death, to ask me if I dream? I should flay you right now." _

"_Please, listen to me!" the she-cat whispers urgently. "You were at the Gathering when it was announced I received my name, right?"_

_What an odd question. Suspicious, too; I unsheathe my claws."I believe so."_

"_I saw your face when it happened," she continues, her voice dangerously close to a wail. "I saw it, and...I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I don't know why. You looked so awed and amazed, and it has stayed with me. I can't stop, it hurts me, and I have no idea why!"_

Am I really not one of those fools who would do anything for love? Who would betray their Clan's secrets and leave responsibility behind in the name of love? I know I wasn't one before I met her. I'd had small affairs before, of course--who hasn't? But nothing serious. I kept my head; I knew when to stop. Everything in check.

And after...the incident not so long ago...I was back to my normal self. Now I am fine. Completely, utterly sane. Courageous, mighty, loyal, and sane. Nothing short of the best--that is me. That's the way I've always liked it.

Right?

_My head swirls. This is not what I was expecting. I am speechless. _

_Her eyes are enormous in her small tabby-striped face. I accidentally look straight into them, and every single hair on my pelt tingles. "Why don't you believe me? You're all I think about now...it's not my fault...it's you, all the time..." _

_My name is called from inside camp. Everyone is awakening; she has to leave now, or the consequences will be unspeakable—for her and for me. "Go! Go, before we both get killed!" I hiss, flicking my tail across the lake, towards her territory. _

I was no idiot before her, and after she was gone. But in between, I am not sure. It was so bemusing, back then. Nothing made sense. Well, it did, when I was away from her. But once I was with her, it all came crashing down. The weight of my troubles, my secrets, crushing me. Choking me. Killing me.

_The scene changes again. It's many moons after our first meeting--very recently. I sit in her territory, grimacing at all the foliage around me. So many trees make me feel trapped and cross, even with the colorful flowers blooming, in their prime. _

_She insisted I come here last time, just beyond the gorge where her camp lies. I have come three times--she hasn't shown her face. I haven't seen her for a while now, even at Gatherings. What could be happening? _

I tire of words. The dreams tell all. Watch the dreams. They explain. They know. Perhaps they know even more than I do.

_At last I catch her scent on the breeze: a tangy mix of herbs and dew. I can't help myself—I bound forward, pushing away branches, to get closer to her. _

_Yes, she is there, safe and beautiful, though looking slightly weary. I didn't know how much she meant to me until this moment, seeing her after so long. It's unavoidable; I wind myself around her, purring deeply. Her own purr comes out much less enthusiastically. _

_I draw back, angry and surprised. "What's wrong?" Then my paw brushes some fur. A soft mew emerges from the tiny thing. I look down._

Why did I look down? Why didn't I just run away?

"_I had kits," she explains dully. _

_Confusion. Hurt. Fury. Shock. All of these emotions crowd my mind, and I don't know what to think. "You...you...you didn't even tell me you were pregnant!" I splutter, hesitantly leaning forward to sniff the mottled gray-blue bundle. It squirms a bit; I jump back. _

"_It was better that way," she snaps abruptly, pushing forward the other kit, a dark brown female. " I need you to take them." _

"_Why?" _

"_Have you got bees in your brain?" she asks, her eyes flashing furiously. "I'm a medicine cat! How would I take care of kits? It's forbidden!" _

"_Give them to one of your Clan queens."_

"_None of them have kits this young; they won't be able to produce milk!" It's difficult to tell what the strongest in her voice: despair or anger. "And besides...you and me...it's not going to work anymore." _

By now in my tale, you are probably wondering who _she _is. If you haven't guessed already. I would've thought it was obvious. She's the only one of her kind. I know it. If there was another one like her, it would be obvious. So far, no one even comes close.

So who is she? Who is my secret?

Guess again.

_Nothing is making sense. The whole world seems to be tilting. I grip the soft ground beneath my paws to stop myself from falling with it. The forest could burst into flames, ShadowClan could turn gentle and refined, my fur could suddenly be white; all of this and more could happen and I wouldn't be surprised in the least. _

_Four impassive, unforgivable words drop from my mouth. "You don't love me."_

_Silence. Then, "I wish it was that simple. I honestly don't know. But don't you see? My Clan needs me, and their needs have to come first."_

"_I see," I say, but I don't._

"_Well, this is it, then," she murmurs, and for a moment I think she will change her mind; she'll rush back and bury her nose in my fur, swearing her undying loyalty to me, saying we will run away with our kits and start a new life. _

_I wish. _

_Instead, she turns and pads back towards her camp. I bend down to pick up one of the kits-my kits-when a thought occurs to me. _

"_What did you name them?"_

_She turns back without a sound. My question calls up all the pain inside her; it's written all over those pretty features. "If I had a choice in the matter...Rainkit and Otterkit." Her voice catches in her throat. "Please take care of them, Blackclaw."_

"_You know I will," I reply, my own voice turning tender. For the last time. "I love you, Leafpool." _

Yes, I fell in love with the ThunderClan medicine cat. _She_ made me shiver. _She_ made me shudder. _She_ was all that mattered.

The dreams don't come as often. Sometimes, but not every night. I've never told a soul about them. They're my last connection to her. They will stop if I want them to, I suspect. But I don't know if I do.

A sin, you say, to mate with a medicine cat? Is that what you think?

Take a good look at our kits. Yes, them--the skilled, formidable warriors named Rainstorm and Otterheart. Powerful fighters; sly hunters. The pride of their Clan. The pride of their father. Maybe, just maybe, the pride of their mother, too.

You look at them, and you tell me I was wrong.

**How's THAT for crack? Yes, I do believe it's my own creation: LeafxBlack. It even explains the appearance of two RiverClan warriors in Eclipse. And yes, he's old enough to be her father, but isn't he like the ever-youthful cat? Been around since Into the Wild, I think...XD  
****  
Suggestions are still welcome; I have four open spaces. But as always, don't forget to write what you thought of this!**


	3. nO

**W00t, I got another chapter at last. Enjoy...**

III.

_I know that I'm supposed to make him wait_

_Let him think I like the chase_

_But I can't stop fanning the fire_

_I know I meant to say _**n**_o_

"Hurry up, idiot, they're going to catch us," I yowl teasingly, taking several large strides so I get several pawsteps ahead of him. "C'mon, you can run faster than that!"

Snarling in frustration, he bares his teeth and takes a giant leap, landing right next to me. Our paws almost touch as they tear up the grass beneath us. The stubborn creep flashes a grin in my direction; even tosses his head oh-so-smugly, the brat!

Eagerly accepting the challenge, I strain my entire body; I'm wholly focused on speed, and speed alone. We come to a narrow path between two boulders, where only one cat can go through at a time. I sense him hesitating, measuring the space. Mistake! I slip inside daringly, coming out in front unharmed.

My legs burn, crying out for me to stop, stop, but I can't stop---my paws are a blur, everything is a blur; I'm not even sure I'm on the ground anymore. It's an exhilarating feeling; I am totally in power, awesomely confident, and so, so fast---

And suddenly I fall.

Well, to be more exact, I trip. I trip over a stray root that snags my left back paw, keeping it in a stranglehold as I yelp in surprise. Struggling is useless; my mouth receives a generous helping of dirt as I land with a loud thud.

I hear his footsteps behind me. A purr rumbles above me, smothered in self-satisfaction and a high degree of amusement. "Well, well, well. I never thought it possible, but brains do triumph over brawn."

"You wish," I sputter, rolling over onto my back so he can see my glare. He simply cocks his head, smiling gloatingly. "It was a stupid root. I would've won by a long shot if it hadn't been in my way."

"There, there. No need to fuss; no need to make a scene. You could just _ask_ for help."

"Hey, idiot, will you snap this stupid root so I can get up?"

His grin widens. "I meant ask _politely_."

A groan escapes from my mouth. "Crowfeather-"

"No, no, no; you're doing it wrong," he interrupts, a wicked gleam sparkling in his eyes. "You should start with 'My dearest Crowfeather....'"

Oh, he is good. And so, so dead. "My dearest Crowfeather, ruler of my life, owner of my soul," I meow pleadingly, widening my eyes pathetically, "will you please, please, _please_ bite the tender wood of this despicable root so I may rest my poor, injured self?"

"Why yes, of course, Tawnypelt," Crowfeather replies mockingly, bending down. Carefully, with delicate precision, he locks his teeth on the root and pulls hard. His whiskers lightly brush my leg, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine. Luckily, he doesn't notice.

"Now, was that hard at all?" he purrs once I am free, nudging me up with his shoulder; the shiver increases in strength. I cover it up with an arrogant if-you-do-that-again-I'll-murder-you look.

"So, what next?" asks Crowfeather nonchalantly, licking his forepaws. "I have a request, though: could it be something that doesn't put you in a hazardous situation? We wouldn't want to risk ruining your pretty face for old Rowanclaw," he adds, flashing another irritating grin.

"Shut up," I snap, tossing my head. "You know, you're the worst best friend ever. I've told you a thousand times I don't care at all about that stuck-up, snooty tom, and you still persist in reminding me how he's suddenly become smitten with me. Actually, now that I think about it, you and him have a lot in common."

An awkward silence follows my short speech. Crowfeather's confused face makes me realize what a certain meaning my words might carry. "You're both selfish and pampered little pussycats, thinking the world revolves around them and them alone," I continue hurriedly, adding a teasing swat to lighten my "insult".

Crowfeather's muddled expression clears, and he dodges my poorly aimed hit. "Says the she-cat who thought she could rely on her amazing speed alone to win a race."

XXXXXXXXX

"You're back late today," Snowbird remarks, sitting next to me with her evening meal, a snake. "Did the prey all scuttle away from your fearsome shape?"

"Yeah, something like that," I mumble absently through a mouthful of frog. Snowbird looks puzzled, but not being very observant, she continues on about her day; the prey she caught ("Five mice! I haven't caught that much for so long!"), the toms she flirted with ("I really think there's something going on between me and Darkthorn...he might be the one!")---all the things I'm not that interested in.

Don't get me wrong; Snowbird is the closest thing I have to a real friend in ShadowClan. She was made a warrior not that long ago, but we've become quite close. She understands the whole parent-equals-leader problem I had going for me for a while; her father is Blackstar. Still, I can't trust her enough to tell her about my continued friendship with Crowfeather, much less our secret outings.

I sit through her chatter patiently, trying to think of a way to bring up another topic, but my ears prick up when she mentions "intruders". "What was that about intruders?"

"Rowanclaw, Russetfur, and I were on patrol this morning, and I caught WindClan scent near one of our borders with ThunderClan. Believe me, Russetfur was not happy with that, even though Rowanclaw told her it's nothing to worry about. WindClan loves the company of a traitorous, kittypet-filled Clan." Snowbird catches my eye, and adds quickly, "They were Rowanclaw's words, not mine, Tawnypelt."

"It's okay, Snowbird. I know what kind of opinion most of our Clan holds for ThunderClan. I can't say I'm so pleased myself." It was true; I wasn't pleased with Rowanclaw, or the patrol's discovery. If they had discovered the scent we thought was so well-covered up, it was only a matter of time before they discovered Crowfeather and me.

But how could I warn him?

"Oh, Tawnypelt, I almost forgot to tell you---Blackstar told me we're going to the Gathering tonight!"

XXXXXXXXX

Gatherings are usually pleasant experiences for me. I use to dread them while I was an apprentice, because I would have to face the crestfallen face of my brother, the hard glares of the ThunderClan cats, and the curious whispers of other Clan cats when they glanced my way. After a while, especially after I became a ShadowClan warrior, Brambleclaw's expression lightened; the forest cats regarded me with an indifferent nod; the whispers faded to silence. As Tawnypelt, I started to enjoy Gatherings, even when we were no longer at Fourtrees.

Tonight, I was back to being the jittery, tense, meek Tawnypaw.

"Do you think he'll be here?" I whisper to Snowbird, who is administering last minute licks to her fur.

"Who?"

Fox dung! "Oh, uh, Brambleclaw," I reply, trying to keep my voice level. "I haven't seen him in a while."

"You best not spend too much time with him if he is," my friend advises. "Russetfur is not in a relaxed, forgiving mood tonight."

"She'll be telling everyone about the discovery _I _made," brags Rowanclaw, who has been listening to our conversation.

"Go bother someone else, will you?" I snarl, peering around the clearing for a familiar dark gray pelt. I'm so focused I don't notice Rowanclaw left us until Snowbird whispers, "Come on, Tawnypelt."

"Not now-"

"Will you just give him a chance? You must know he really admires you."

"I don't have time to be lectured right now." I certainly don't, because suddenly I see him, talking with a few of his Clanmates. My chance is here; here and now. "See you later, Snowbird."

Heart beating fast, I bound over to a short ditance from where he sits. He sees me out of the corner of his eye, I know, because his tail flicks; our "secret" sign. I incline my head towards a large out-of-the-way oak tree. Another tail flick sends me scampering over there as fast as I can.

Crowfeather comes slower, although when he at last reaches me, he has an unusual expression on his face. Can he sense my feelings?

Immediately, I get straight to the point. "Crowfeather, they've caught us. A patrol found your scent."

Shock is clear on his face. "But we were so careful-"

"Oh, don't even try," I say, and for a wild moment I want to laugh. "We were _not_ careful. We were the farthest thing from careful. We have to stop."

"Stop what? Stop having fun?"

"Stop!" I shriek, unsheathing my claws and raising a paw to smack him. In midair I stop, and we stare at each other: me, trembling; he, stoic and still. The ridiculousness of my comment brings us both to laughter; laughter so loud I'm afraid we'll be discovered.

"Seriously, we need to stop meeting in secret." I gasp for breath, sitting on the dewy grass. How I will miss these times. "It's too dangerous."

"No," Crowfeather insists, crouching down to meet my eyes. "I can't. I've decided, once and for all, that I can't."

My heart starts to race again, and my stomach squirms like I've just eaten carrion. "Explain, if you will."

And he does.

With eyes.

Soft, tender eyes.

Soft, unspoken words.

"I get it," I whisper.

I get it.

This isn't what I thought it was.

This is more than what I'd ever have with Rowanclaw, or with anyone else.

It

is

love.

**Fluffy moment for Tawnypelt! *cheer* Sorry for that TawnyxRowan bash at the end. I couldn't resist. I'm still taking pairing suggestions, by the way. **

**Just a heads up: a suggested pairing from one of my dear reviewers is the topic of the next chappie. Who will it be? Just wait and see! **


	4. bReAtHe

**As promised, I've written a reviewer-requested pairing. Thank you Silverrose82 for the idea--I hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors. *gasp* Wait a minute, I forgot, I DO! *ungasp* False alarm. I don't. **

IV.

_But he's irresistible  
Up close and personal  
Now inescapable  
__I can hardly *__**b**__R__**e**__AT__**he***_

I was ready.

My whole body was focused, intent on my prey. I crouched low to the ground, careful not to make a single sound that would scare it away. Muscles tense; eyes fixated; tail swishing silently. The mouse was happily ignorant of its imminent death; it nibbled at its paws, squeaking cheerfully. I licked my jaws in anticipation, prepared to spring and-

"Hey, Hawkpaw!"

_Squeak! _The mouse scampered away, leaving nothing under my paws but mud and weeds. Snarling quietly, I slowly rose to my feet. Unlike most cats in RiverClan, I wasn't terribly fond of fish, so any other prey would always be welcome. Today I hadn't much luck in finding such an option, and now, at a perfect moment, my chance of a decent meal was ruined. Whoever made me lose my prize would be sincerely sorry.

"Oh, did I scare that mouse away? I'm so sorry, Hawkpaw. I know you don't like fish that much. Here, do you want my water vole?" Feathertail nosed her catch toward me, purring apologetically. I gulped, feeling both embarrassed and uncertain. Pride told me to push the vole back disdainfully, but it did look delicious....and Feathertail did give the impression of wanting me to take it.

As it turned out, I didn't have to decide. Sasha laughed patronizingly and thrust the prey back to the young warrior. "Hawkpaw doesn't need your charity, Feathertail, however kindhearted it may be. He's old enough to capture something for himself. I'm surprised your voice made him so distracted. Although of late he has continually failed my expectations." Her piercing glare and disdainful voice shattered my dwindling self-respect. According to general opinion my mother was considered "beautiful", but I could find no allure in her stony eyes or ever-present sneer.

_If anyone could be called "beautiful"_, _it would be Feathertail_, I thought. Her fur glowed radiantly in the daytime, and after the sun set it was almost luminescent. She was sleek and slender, which made her an excellently graceful swimmer. The blue of her eyes matched the flowing river; no, it was even more magnificent, because a thousand other colors glinted beneath the blue. Added to that, she had a calm, sweet disposition, and yet she wasn't intimidated by characters like my mother.

"I can't imagine why Hawkpaw would be unsuccessful in anything you'd wish him to do, Sasha." And that voice: soothing and melodious, but still able to hold a bit of spite. "He's a very talented apprentice. Leopardstar can't stop singing his praises. Speaking of which...when does she plan to give you your warrior name?"

I shrugged, mumbling something unintelligible. Sasha snorted derisively, but decided to let it go. For once. "Are we going back to camp? Or will dear Hawkpaw resign himself to snatching a few measly fish?" Without waiting for an answer, she picked up her own prey and strode towards camp. Feathertail shook her head ever so slightly, gazing at me sympathetically. Foolish pride ignited in my chest, causing me to turn sharply in another direction.

"I wasn't as hopeless as she said." My paws hastily unearthed several fish, their scales dazzling in the blazing sun. "I caught these earlier." Daring Feathertail to contradict me, I scooped them up with my teeth and proceeded to pad after my mother. Contrary to (or was it according to?) what I'd hoped, the tabby she-cat caught up to me in a few bounds.

Her voice was gentle as she tried to calm my evident anger. "Sasha has a sharp tongue, but she is also fiercely loyal and devoted---to you and Mothpaw especially. Why else would she have come to RiverClan but to find a place where her kits could be safe?"

"Well, if she does care, she has a strange way of showing it," I replied bitterly.

"Mothers are strange creatures." Feathertail laughed softly. "I never knew mine, but my father talked so much about her, I feel as if I do. He said she was very lovely, elegant, and clever. But she did have a fierce temper, and wouldn't take so much as a word that insulted her loved ones. Apparently, I look very much like her, and Graystripe swears I have the same personality." Her nostalgic words melted into a low, contented hum; she seemed to have forgotten I walked beside her.

As for me, I wasn't sure how comfortable I felt listening to Feathertail's personal recollections. All the while my mind was drifting between her tender words and how unearthly she looked at that moment: her eyes concentrated on something far in the distance, her head held aloft, and her tail swishing back and forth to an inaudible melody. For a wild instant, I wanted to seize this image and bear it in my mind forever. It was perfect, undisturbed peace; something I would never, ever feel, not as long as I lived.

Neither, for that matter, would my sister. "Hi!" Mothpaw exclaimed, leaping unexpectedly out from behind a clump of reeds. The fish dropped from my grasp as I instinctively growled in surprise. Feathertail purred at the childishly excited expression on Mothpaw's face. The golden tabby apprentice was gasping for breath, fur ruffled and tail erect, but her eyes sparkled with delight. "You'll never guess what I just heard!"

My guess was dry and sarcastically hopeful. "You're being exiled from the Clan?" Truthfully, I didn't like dampening my sister's enthusiasm, but it was necessary to disguise my humiliation at the contrast between Feathertail's composure and my bewilderment. It didn't pay off, because instead of ignoring me, the warrior shot me a dismayed glance.

Mothpaw remained unfazed. She twirled in circles, giggling uncontrollably and heightening my embarrassment. Even though she was sometimes a little "off", Mothpaw couldn't normally be caught in such a frenzy. All of a sudden, though, her giddiness vanished, and she sat quietly, observing Feathertail quite seriously. "Well, first of all, Stormfur wants to talk to you, Feathertail. He was looking for you all morning, and is getting very worried about you."

"That tom would be scared stiff if I left his sight for more than a minute. What would he do without me?" Feathertail sighed fondly, directing the question to no one in particular. "Well, thank you for giving me his message, Mothpaw. Would you mind escorting your brother back to camp? I'll see you both later." With a lighthearted meow, she turned and loped nimbly away from us. I watched her until she disappeared through the distant entrance of camp, suddenly feeling heavy and tired. My sister contemplated my actions, a sly look beginning to develop in her eyes. Unexpectedly, she gasped. "You-"

"What?"

"You're in love with Feathertail!" Mothpaw taunted merrily, idiotically prancing around me. I narrowed my eyes and flattened my ears, striving to keep my tongue in check. "You're in love with Feathertail! You're in lo-"

"I'm not _in love_! I don't even _like_ that stupid she-cat!" Before I could stop myself, a torrent of enraged words shot from my mouth, landing with spiteful thuds at Mothpaw's feet. "She was prattling on about her dead mother and how amazing she was, had the nerve to offer me prey after she scared mine away, and made me a fool in front of Sasha, which of course is _exactly _what I need right now-"

Somberness replaced the levity on my sister's face. "I know, Hawkpaw. I'm sorry. I understand how much pressure Sasha's putting on you." She bent forward to lick my ear, but I recoiled, my eyes still narrowed. Ignoring my insolence, but with a bit more vigor in her tone, she added, "Don't think you're the only one. She wants us to succeed so badly; she'll say pretty much anything to get us riled up and determined to prove her accusations wrong. Don't blame her; she's really stressed."

"She thinks she can control our lives," I hissed furiously, starting to pace with my eyes fixed on the ground. "She thinks we will just go along with whatever she wants."

"That's not too bad for you, though," Mothpaw pointed out cautiously. It was plain to see that she still wasn't sure how much anger I was restraining. "She wants you to become leader; you want to become leader. How is that so horrible?"

I spat on the ground. "Because I want to get there on my own! I don't want Sasha to be a little supportive sidekick, trying to pave the way for me. I want to fight to the top; I want to do it my way! If I could find something, anything, to drive her insane, just to get her off my back, I would use it!"

Mothpaw laughed nervously, and answered, half-jokingly, "Well, if you took a cat like Feathertail as a mate....that would send Sasha's heart up in flames for sure." An awkward silence followed her words, but my pacing and blazing rage ceased, and I began to think sensibly again. My sister, too, relaxed, relieved to see the fur on my back lie flat. "Do you want to hear the real news I was bouncing around about?" After a nod from me, she burst out, "We're going to be warriors tonight!"

"Who told you?"

"Leopardstar, your most honored mentor, herself! She warned me not to let any other cat know, but said I could tell you, of course." Mothpaw's eyes alighted with eagerness once more. "Aren't you excited? Us! Warriors!"

"Yes, it's....wonderful." I downplayed the delight I felt would tear out of me at any moment. "When will the ceremony be?"

"By the look of the sun, very soon. Come on, if we hurry-" and here a dangerously cheeky spark sprang up in her eye, "maybe you'll get to boast to Feathertail before the ceremony!"

Luckily for her, I decided to ignore the snide jibe, and we raced to camp, unleashing all the bundled up thrill inside of us. The sun was indeed close to setting, and many cats were already gathered in the center of camp. Perhaps the news had leaked out somehow? I was fairly sure why Leopardstar wanted to keep our ceremony a secret: she was still fearful of the Clan's reaction to rogue-born cats becoming full-fledged RiverClan warriors. Personally, I thought she had nothing to worry about. Mothpaw and I had shown to be hard-working apprentices, intent to complete any task we were asked to do, and complete it well. We were worthy, I was sure.

My stomach knotted as I spotted Feathertail sharing tongues with Mistyfoot, the RiverClan deputy. _You're in love with Feathertail....if you took a cat like Feathertail as a mate...maybe you'll get to boast to Feathertail before the ceremony...._ Jesting though her words were, Mothpaw's comments repeated themselves over and over in my head. Again I felt myself unpleasantly aware of how lithe and smooth Feathertail appeared: her movements short and swift, but each executed with natural ease.

Fortunately, when Leopardstar came into view of the Clan, the ceremony began without delay.

"I, Leopardstar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn. Hawkpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do."

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Hawkpaw, from this moment you will be known as Hawkfrost. StarClan honors your courage and your fortitude, and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan. Mothpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do."

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Mothpaw, from this moment you will be known as Mothwing. StarClan honors your bravery and your fervor, and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan."

The interchangeable words, the customary ritual, the deafening cheers; everything flew over my head. As I was named a cat worthy of warrior status, the most pivotal moment in my entire life, there were only two faces that held any interest at all for me. One was Sasha's, beaming and brimming with a pride that could only belong to an overjoyed mother. All the hope and the painful memories she had of us overflowed in her eyes, but I remained stoic and emotionless. Although Sasha was yowling our new names louder than any other cat, it was not her voice that rang clearest in my ears.

The sweet, compassionate sound sent forth from a specific silver tabby enveloped my mind and soul. It was as if all else had vanished save her willowy, poised figure with a face uplifted towards me---me, of all cats! And in the middle of that perfectly shaped head, in the center of those delicate features, lay the two keen, misty blue eyes that followed me as I leapt off the place of honor and was welcomed by a crowd of my Clanmates. She leaned towards her brother, whispering something in his ear that darkened his already sober expression. _One day, _I thought grimly, _one day it will be my shoulder which she will rest her head against; my ear which she will murmur in; my side that she will stand proudly by. _

"Congratulations, Hawkfrost!" Feathertail purred as I sauntered over to Stormfur and her. At my expectant glance, the gray warrior merely dipped his head wordlessly. His sister shoved him playfully, and turned back to me. "You'll be joining us in the warriors' den, won't you?"

"Not tonight. But after the vigil," I replied, smiling to myself at her innocence. The embarrassment, the humility, the humbleness; all of those daft notions had fled my mind. I was a warrior now. What did I have to fear?

Stormfur must have noticed my new self-assurance because he inquired warily, "Anything wrong, Hawkfrost?"

Neither one of them was prepared for my easy drawl as I began making my way towards the camp entrance at a leisurely pace. "Oh, no, nothing, Stormfur. Nothing at all."

**So it was a bit different than my other oneshots (and not that long--sorry!), but departure from the norm is healthy, no? :) Don't worry, I have a lot of other suggestions lined up to write. In fact, the next oneshot will be another suggestion. Also, I need ONE MORE pairing that (please)....**

**1. involves ShadowClan and/or WindClan cats (because RC and TC are dominating the story). **

**2. does NOT involve Russetfur, Crowfeather, or Onestar (because they were/will be in other chapters). **

**3. is crack (obviously).**

**Thanks a bunch! **


	5. mE

**Hey....not much to say, except this one chapter is for DarkwolfKnight....hope it's enjoyable. :)**

V.  
_More than just physical  
Deeper than spiritual  
His ways are powerful  
__Irresistible to __**~.M.E.~**_

Red and blue.

Ginger and gray.

Male and female.

Him and I.

Together.

Forever.

Forever is a long time; I realize that. It is not a word to be used lightly. But how can you call our love 'light'? It's anything but. Our relationship is all-consuming, obsessive---a basic need. If he was wrenched away from me, I know I would die on the spot. Life would have no meaning anymore. He is my sun and my light; a fiery flame that guides me into the unknown, even when our future appears dismal and dark.

Even though I would never boast such a thing to her, I believe our love is stronger than that which exists between my friend Silverstream and her Graystripe. Of course she adores him and usually grabs every possible chance to see him. However, since she learnt of her pregnancy, she has settled down a bit, more content to stay within the boundaries of camp.

Me? Well, even though I heavily feel the squirming and jostling of kits in my belly, I'm unable to stay away from their father. He is eager enough to meet me as well, but repeatedly warns me not to strain myself, as it would be detrimental to the kits' well-being. Oh, I can't rebuff his advice when he uses such a earnest, imploring voice.

"Who can't you refuse?" Silverstream asks teasingly. I must have spoken my last thought aloud. Worriedly, I look around, but luckily we are the only two in the nursery.

She spots my look, and purrs comfortingly. "Don't worry. I was the only one who heard your nonsense chatter." A dreamy sigh escapes from her. "You're not alone. I'm fantasizing so much about Graystripe these days I can almost see him, right there in front of me."

"If only," I meow sadly, thinking of both our mates working diligently across the river. They're not that far away, really, but sometimes it seems like it is so. Moreover, we can't exactly sneak away to see them in broad daylight anymore, given our bulging stomachs weighing us down.

As if reading my mind, Silverstream groans loudly, shifting her position slightly. "I'll be terribly glad when this whole ordeal is over. How many kits do you think are stuck down there? If it's any less than four, they must be monstrously large!"

Laughing, I reply, "It's probably two or three. Kits are bigger than you'd expect."

Silverstream contemplates my words carefully. "I'd like a set of three she-cats," she finally meows. "Although, Graystripe will probably be very disappointed if he doesn't get at least one gray-furred, yellow-eyed son. So I suppose I must make some allowances, for my beloved's sake. Hmm...two she-cats and a tom would be perfect, don't you think?"

"I'll take whatever StarClan gives me," I answer, licking my paw somewhat absentmindedly. "I'm happy to be having kits at all, and to have a devoted, caring cat for my mate."

"Now you're making me feel selfish!" The silver queen flicks me with her tail mischievously. "Your kits will probably be patient, kind, and generous because you accept them for who they are. Mine will turn out to be twisted, jealous fiends because they aren't exactly as I want them to be!"

I shake my head mockingly at her foolishness. "No kit of yours could ever be wicked. Now, an offspring of that diabolical Graystripe..."

"Oh, so _that's _where we're going, is it?" Silverstream bares her teeth, but her eyes glimmer roguishly. "Not every cat can be a goody-two shoes like your---"

"Like her what, Silverstream?" Hazefur, the third queen in the nursery, pushes through the entrance. "Or should I say 'who'? Am I about to discover the mysterious mates of my fellow queens?" Silverstream's eyes meet mine. Neither she nor I are close friends with the cream-colored she-cat, so she, like the rest of the Clan, possesses no knowledge of our forbidden affairs.

Silverstream decides to go with an easy, light answer. "Nope, sorry, Hazefur. You'll have to live in puzzlement for another day."

"That's a pity. If you would put your secrets out in the open, you would be lavished with attention," Hazefur points out smugly. "Splashtail brought me a _delicious_ finch today, the first one of the season. Poor thing; he insists on doing _everything_ for me, even though I'm not quite...well...rather _large_ around the middle yet, you know," she meows distastefully, unable to avoid glancing at my swelled stomach.

We purr and nod, trying to muffle our laughter. As soon as Hazefur has fallen asleep with a loud snore, we creep outside.

"'Splashtail brought me a _delicious_ finch today!'" Silverstrem mimics, puffing her chest out and parading around in a small circle. I giggle like a ditzy apprentice because Hazefur's disdain at my appearance had slightly dampened my spirits. _It will all be worth it, _I remind myself, _when she sees the loveliness and charm of my kits._

_My kits! _The very words, even when in my head, gives me a thrill. After being a courageous, loyal warrior worthy of my Clan, obviously, my goal had always been to be a mother. Little did I know back then that this hope would be fulfilled in such an unusual way.

My present elation gives me the impulse to say: "I'm going to see him."

"Now?" Silverstream is surprised.

"Yes."

"Oh, Mistyfoot, don't be silly. Don't you think you should rest? Mudfur thought you seemed a bit peaky, remember?"

I had made up my mind. Leaving Silverstream shaking her head, I trot out of camp, trying to appear nonchalant. Once I am a safe distance away from prying eyes, my feet carry me (as fast as they are able) to the edge of the river. Luck is on my side today; I spot a ThunderClan patrol making its rounds around their border. His radiant ginger pelt is present among them.

He must notice me watching because he hangs back a little ways from his Clan mates. As soon as they vanish among the trees, he hisses, "Is is safe?" I nod, and my heart trills as he leaps gracefully from rock to rock. We touch noses briefly, for he appears extremely nervous and apprehensive.

It's all the more obvious in his hurried voice. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing," I reply, puzzled and rather hurt. "I just wanted to see you. We haven't met for a while. Didn't you miss me?"

"Of course." Something is wrong; it shows clearly in his eyes. "But you can't just grab me whenever you're feeling lonely. It's dangerous. You can talk to Silverstream, right?"

I am stunned. "Certainly, but---"

"I have to go." He casts an anxious glance back at his territory. "Is there anything you need to tell me?"

"W-well, the kits should be coming soon. And, um..." I don't know what to say. Disappointment is eating at my insides. "...that's it. Silverstream will give a message to Graystripe once they're born. Could you come here, to the river, and see them?" Even my question is unsure, since I don't know what to expect from his changed attitude.

But his personality hasn't changed that much. The green eyes soften, and he licks my cheek affectionately. "Absolutely."

He's still my Fireheart.

* * *

My prediction turns out to be accurate. A couple of sunrises later, the long, excruciating process begins. For two days and nights, Mudfur is at my side instructing me; placating me, forcing bitter-tasting herbs in my mouth. I am also faintly aware of Silverstream hovering nearby, but of what she preoccupies herself with I have no idea.

The third night my throat is sore from screeching and my body aches from pushing incessantly. A horrible thought occurs to me: _What if the kits are already dead? _but I try to shove it to the back of my mind. Through my slitted eyes Mudfur appears weary and worn out, which I am sure is the truth of the matter. Still, he will not give up: "Push, Mistyfoot, push! It's almost done! Push!"

Suddenly, as the first rays of sunlight stream through the nursery entrance, a lusty wail rings out. The first kit has finally emerged! A new energy overcomes me: I force myself to push again, and again, but only one cry continues to fill my ears.

"It's okay, Mistyfoot. There's only one. Slow down, slow down." Mudfur's soothing voice raises above the vigorous yowling, subduing my efforts. With great exertion, I lift my head up to find my single kit. There it is: a tiny, slick pile of fur being licked steadily by Silverstream.

My friend looks up fleetingly, purring. "She's beautiful, Mistyfoot."

Beautiful she is indeed. The next few days she is all I am concerned with. I refuse to leave her, even for a moment. I adore the high-pitched meows she makes when she is hungry, and I love to bury my nose in her downy fur. It is pale gray in color, much like the fur of my brother, Stonefur. However, when she opens her eyes, I am delighted to find out they are the exact shade of green as her father's. I name her Dawnkit, so I forever remember the magnificent morning when she was born.

So absorbed am I in my daughter that Fireheart escapes my thoughts for a while. Silverstream gives the news of the birth to Graystripe, as I'd promised, but no reply or of congratulations is sent back. When Dawnkit is little over two moons old, I send a request (through my friend and her mate) for her father to meet us at the river.

Even though I receive no conformation of his appearance, I take Dawnkit to the meeting place one mildly warm evening. She is entranced by the fish dancing in the water, but as time stretches on and the sun sets, I am in a state of excessive worry. Could Fireheart have been caught? Did he forget?

Did he care anymore?

When a blanket of darkness finally covers the sky and the first stars being to twinkle, I dejectedly pick up Dawnkit and carry her back to camp.

It's finished.

* * *

Fireheart made no attempt to see me privately ever again, but I never confronted him. He never acknowledged Dawnkit as his daughter. It was as if nothing had ever happened between us. Although I did not wither away, as I thought I would, I still couldn't imagine the reason why he abandoned me: had he decided his Clan came before me?

I watched as he made his way to become deputy and, shortly after that, leader. As Fireheart rose in status, Dawnkit became an apprentice, a warrior, and finally a queen herself. Not at any time did I tell her she had any connection to Fireheart. She just assumed what every cat in the Clan told her: Finchclaw, a warrior who had died soon after I entered the nursery, was her father.

The crushing pain I felt at first has faded to an occasional prick that comes up occasionally. When I talk to him, as a deputy talks to a leader of another Clan does. When I see hisother mate, Sandstorm, sitting proudly by his side. When I hear his other daughters, Leafpool and Squirrelflight, being praised by him.

Forever, he told me once.

Yeah, right.

**I know I'm horrible....most of these oneshots end up in break-ups, don't they? Well, the next one will be semi-happy, and so will the one after that, so don't give up on me yet. Oh, and if you're curious, pale-gray RiverClan queen Dawnflower does exist.**

**Disclaimer: Mistyfoot is the greatest leader in the forest. Firestar is rotting in a hole somewhere. Obviously, I don't own Warriors. **

**Review, puh-lease! **


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